I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
