I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
