Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
