i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
