Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
