Already got asked if we're dating
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
