From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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