Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
