shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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