His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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