I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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