Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
