You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
