Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
