He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
