No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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