I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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