New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
