If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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