wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
