Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
