If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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