Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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