If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
