But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
