the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
