So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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