some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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