Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
