Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
