She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The uberlube is also flammable
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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