I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
should my penis look like a turkey
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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