Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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