just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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