To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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