We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
