I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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