Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
