Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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