Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
