wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
