Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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