How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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