Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You pole danced in your parka.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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