tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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