Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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