Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
