i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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