how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
