That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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