Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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