Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize